Two months ago, I heard a very disturbing story and it has been haunting me ever since. I decided to write about it, first to share this grim story, second to ask some pertinent questions about the state of the Togolese culture and psyche.
The story occurred in Lome. A young Togolese girl about 17 years old met a young man probably about the same age. The young man is of foreign origin. After a couple of meeting in the market, the girl was invited to the young man's house. A couple of weeks later, the young lady decided to spend the night at the house of her new friend. No one knows exactly what happened during the night. The young lady reported later that several men in the house raped her throughout the night. What is known clearly is that early on Sunday morning, the young lady was thrown out on the street with a couple 10, 000 Francs CFA next to her. Once outside of the house, the young lady started yelling at the men to denounce what happened to her. In reaction to her screams, two men came out of the house and beat her until she fell down helpless in a puddle of filthy water, where she laid for many long minutes before getting up and heading her way.
The saddest part about the whole story is that, when the girl was being attacked in the street nobody came to her rescue, not even the good Christians of Lome going to church that Sunday morning. No Togolese man had enough fortitude to intervene.
I have to make a confession. The first time I heard the story, my reaction was one of complete apathy. But for some reasons, the story stuck with me. The thought of a Togolese girl being mistreated in the street by a group of foreign men, and no one did anything to help her, puzzled me a great deal. A feeling of discomfort in my stomach has not left me ever since. I started asking myself some questions.
What happened to our culture? What happened to the Togolese character? Once we were known to be very proud, decent and dignified people. What happened to us? Where has our pride gone? Our ancestor once sang " let's win or die, but in dignity. " Unfortunately, it seems that we lost this aspiration for a very dignified life along the way. We have become a group fearful people. People who do not want to risk anything. We are more comfortable with merely surviving.
To you Togolese men, I say this. Because of your duplicity, your lack of character, your inaptitude to protect your families, your blatant failure to live exemplary lives, your sisters, mothers and daughters must now turn to foreign men to seek comfort, love, and means to survive. Have you also lost so much of your innate humanity that you can see your own sister in danger and do nothing? How could you justify not coming to the aid of your sister when she was being violated? Are you so besieged in your lives that you have lost any sense of your identity? Or is your behavior just a symptom of 36 years under a dictator. In another words, has Eyadema also taken your balls?
Unfortunately our reaction toward this girl is just one of the many ways we, Togolese demonstrate our lack of pride and dedication toward our community. From failure to act with one voice against Eyadema to the deep mistrust we have toward each other, it seems like the most victimized by Eyadema's legacy is the Togolese character. For this, I wept.
USA, May 28, 2003
Essi Ayeh
